Welcome to Hairy Wart!
Home of the SOUTHERN FRIED SASS DETECTIVE AGENCY and the DRAGONETTES - proof that it's not the size of the scales but the SASS in the flames that makes the Guardsma...ahem, I mean,GUARDSWOMAN.
Where the Tofu is always Southern Fried and the Soul Food is vegetarian, 'cause it just wouldn't be right to eat your neighbors.
When the mood strikes and the need for change is too strong to ignore, most people move to the big city or the mountains, heck, some even head to the beach.
Not me. No way. That would be too easy. No L.A., Aspen, of Miami for this Witchess with the mostest.
Hairy Wart, LA, is where I landed.
Not only is it the southern fried tofu capital of the world, but this blink-and-you-miss-it ‘burg with a population of Ninety-nine-point-five, (Do not ask.) and a mayor who happens to be a seven-foot Pink Bunny when the mood strikes just may be the home of the craftiest chicken-napping, knife-wielding crazy killer I've ever come up against.
To say I might have bitten off more than I can chew is an understatement, but I absolutely refuse to admit defeat. Especially not with Sherriff Sexy Pants dogging my every step and making me all hot and bothered. Whoever said a Gator Shifter can’t make a couple yards of denim happy they became a pair of Wranglers never met Beauregard St. Croix. He’s takes a bite outta crime in an up close and personal kinda way that I’m liking a little more every day.
With a mighty swish of my wand and my sisters by my side, I have made it my mission to rid Hairy Wart of all things nefarious and make the streets safe for everybody – scaled, furry, feathered, or otherwise. No case too small, no lawbreaker too evil. We’re here to help!
Bubble, bubble, are you in trouble? Not to worry, we'll be there on the double. No need to fear. No need to fret. We're Southern Fried Sass, Baby. We won’t even break a sweat!
Part of the LOVE SPELLS SERIES!
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Welcome back to Hairy Wart! I missed the heck outta all of ya’! And, I know you won’t be surprised that we’re once again raisin’ hell and forgettin’ to take names.
Rosie, here, buckle up, Buttercups, I'm the Witch your momma warned you about, but in an epically awesome way. Promise.
Everything was fine. I mean, normal…for us. Faith and I were arguing as usual, my bossy Gator-in-law was butting his snout in where it didn’t belong, and Daisy was runnin’ interference when she could keep her eyes open. Just another sunny day in Hairy Wort…right?
Sure, but dadgummit it was shorter lived than a flea fart in a windstorm. Gettin' outta the house (away from Faith) Taffy and I happened upon a dead body in the rubble of the Marshall Mansion that literally got up and walked away when we weren’t lookin’. No! I am not messin’ with you. I swear it happened.
Now, Beau and Faith are losin’ their minds, the Dragonettes are beside themselves, and Daisy, well, she’s sleepin' but that beside the point. Just when I thought things had fallen to the bottom of the swamp where the creepy crawlies creep and crawl, a tall, handsome Panther with a quick smile and a glint in his gleaming emerald eyes appeared smack dab in the middle of this mess and he's tellin’ everybody who’ll listen that he’s my Mate.
What the H-E-Double-hockey-sticks am I supposed to do with that pile of Grunch crap? Good Goddess, if you love me, send a hundred-pound box of chocolate and three gallons of Miss Bunny’s sweet iced tea.
One thing's for darned sure, when the Goddess and the Universe team up, with Destiny and Fate on the sidelines, well, it's more than a Witch can endure. Come on down, hang out a while, ‘cause Heaven knows I could use your help.