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New Stories Coming June 20th!

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When I got the message from New York Times Bestselling author, Robyn Peterman asking me to be a part of her Magic & Mayhem Universe I may have squealed so loud my daughters came running into the room to see what had happened. Again, this is only conjecture, mind you, and if this tale gets out I will adamantly deny it. Nah, not me! But seriously, I fangirled for days. Checked my email repeatedly for my official invitation and when it came I did the Snoopy happy dance all over the house. (Yes! The blinds were closed! Sheesh!)

 

Here's what Robyn says about her fantastic world...

It’s basically fan fiction written by some amazing authors that I stalked and blackmailed! KIDDING! I was lucky and blessed to have some brilliant authors say yes! They have written brand new stories using my world and some of my characters. And let me tell you…the results are hilarious!

The books are available worldwide and will soon be in print.

There will be two launches a year filled with smexy, witchy, shifty, magical fun!

So here it is! Blast off with us into the Magic and Mayhem Universe. Side-splitting books by fantabulous authors! Check out each and every one. You will laugh your way to a magical HEA!

 

Writing in Robyn's Universe is without a doubt the most fun in the world.

Check out all my craziness and SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN to see all the FANTASTIC AUTHORS who've also joined the MAGIC & MAYHEM FAMILY!!

And to see ALLLLLLLL the books I've written so far in this

amazing Universe!

 

Oh yeah! I almost forgot -

You can find EVERY SINGLE BOOK RIGHT HERE!!!

 

 

                                                                 

                                                              

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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From the armpit of Hell to Lucifer-only-knows-where, West Virginia (Sue me! I lost the directions.) at the speed of light with my new bestie, Bert the imp and my hooker alter-ego, Lola without a plan or a clue. Yeah, that's the way we roll.

Ten days is all I have before the love of my life marries the Princess of Hell and my dreams for a smokingly hot happily-ever-after goes up in flames. It's DEF CON 666 and this girl is outta time and outta choices.

One of these Witches better have a plan to turn this Not-Quite Hellhound into a four-legged, butt-sniffing daughter of Cerberus or Satan himself is gonna make an appearance and we're all gonna be flambéed.

Time is running out, my fur coat is nowhere to be found, and all I can think about is jumping that Hunky Hellhound's bones…. Hades help us, who does a girl have to kill to get a quad shot, no foam, caramel macchiato in this one-horse town?

Hang on! Devilish Dips and Eye-Popping Mayhem coming up!

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AVAILABLE ALL OVER THE WORLD and at EVERY RETAILER!

The Asscrack gang and I are about to get busy!

 

Being single in a world where everything is thorn-covered roses and bags of bloody bones sucks! Heidi’s got Hunter, Bert’s got Luci…hell, even Lucifer’s got Trixie and then there’s me, the sexiest alter ego this side of Purgatory… stuck inside a Hellhound who’s happier than a zombie at the body farm in her new wedded bliss. Sure, Heidi and her Hunkie Hellhound hump like rabbits getting ready for Easter but even that’s gotten boring. I need to get out, see the Underworld, sow my wild oats. I mean, a girl’s gotta get hers while the gettin’s good, am I right?

​It’s taken six long months of bitchin’… I mean persuading, but Heidi’s finally agreed to let me have a body of my own. So, it’s back into the Lady Bug Express and off to West Virginia, but this time we’re avoiding the crazy Aunties and heading straight for Asscrack. Zelda, the next Baba Yaga and Almighty Shifter Wanker has agreed to help. She plans to yank me outta Heidi and shove me into a fresh new body before the next full moon. Then it’s bingo bango, Lola’s gonna get her groove on.

It looks like I might even end up with some powers, seems Katie, the chickie whose skin will now be mine, was a witch before she hocused when she should have pocused. I might have to sidestep her sisters and hideout from some vamps but it'll all be worth it. Imagine the possibilities… me with magic. I’m positively giddy at the idea.

​The plan is flawless. I mean, come on, what could go wrong? 

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Check out the WHOLE Page!
There might just be SURPRISES along the way!
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AVAILABLE ALL OVER THE WORLD and at EVERY RETAILER!
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Wearing the fur, waving the wand and wrecking the world! From witch to familiar in one Bibbidi, Bobbidi, BOOM! It’s back to Asscrack to beg and grovel and pray to the Goddess that Zelda, the next Baba Yaga and Almighty Shifter Wanker will undo the mess I’ve made and return me to my beautifully curvy body on two legs instead of the four little furry ones I am sporting right now.

 

Let me share with you that smelling butts and having yours accosted at every turn by a random nose from a random animal who just happens to be passing by, is really not a turn-on. I’m ready to be human again in the worst way and willing plead and clean toilets (Gross!) if Zelda will just make with the magic and goofy rhyming spell.

 

Of course, there’s a hitch and I’m praying she doesn’t ask, because if she does I might die of embarrassment before I ever get to wear my new Jimmy Choos. Can you keep a secret? This is just between us, right? Good! Well, the spell that went crazy and covered not only my back yard but also me in neon orange lava was a ritual of my design meant to find my one true mate. So, now I’m wondering if getting changed in a cat and having your magic go on the fritz is the Universe’s way of saying, “You, Sammie Jo, are doomed to live alone. Give it up and go be a cat, at least it’s better than a cat lady.

 

Sigh! I just hope I didn’t mess up something in the fabric of time and space and let a big, ghoul in, because then there’s no way Zelda will save my ass. Yay! One more thing to worry about. I think I’ll go lay in the sun and take a nap, I’m about ten hours short of my required sixteen and I’d hate to get bags under these tiny little cat eyes.  

 

Toodles and…keep the faith, I’m gonna need all the help I can get.

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Get away from the city, they said.

You’ll love it in the country, they promised.

You inherited a frikkin’ mansion, whatcha got to lose?

 

Yeah, well, that’s the last time I listen to those boobs!

 

It wasn’t bad enough that my Pepto-Bismal-pink VW van went missing. But now, Ernesto the Parrot keeps making obscene comments about my butt, Wendy, the one-eyed cat is having a mid-life crisis and Festus, the dancing donkey has gone on an all vegan diet. Oh, and let me not forget that my dearly-departed Auntie Dot is not-so dearly-departed and she’s trying to fix me up with a dead guy.

 

I swear, the next time somebody leaves me a house… I’m not moving in, I’m just droppin’ it on one of my relatives.

 

See ya’ in Asscrack. Anything’s better than this crap.

AVAILABLE ALL OVER THE WORLD and at EVERY RETAILER!
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Oct 22 2018 MMU UPLOAD COVER-MillsJulia

Take one recently deceased Voodoo Priestess who refuses to believe she's mortality-impaired…

Add one tall, dark, mysterious Bloodsucker who's developed a ragin' allergy to blood and all things plasma-related…

Mix in a half-Witch/half-Voodoo Priestess with her own Detective Agency, a one-eyed, talking Black Cat who wants to be a stand-up comedian, and a partner who's been kidnapped by a backwater, hillbilly family of Otter Shifters from the wrong side of the swamp…

 

And you've just entered the hell this is my life.

 

Sometimes you're the straight pin, and sometimes you're the voodoo doll… And if you happen to be me, you're the dumb butt who left home without her coffee.

 

Goddess, send help, I feel like a pin cushion.

A WHOLE NEW SERIES

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Meet the Maidens of Mayhem - 7 Feathery and/or Winged (Depending on whom you talk to.) Friends that put the FUN in DYSFUNCTIONAL!

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Take…

Seventeen screaming Shifters without a smidgen of sense…

 

Five feathered femme fatales led by the most fantastic fuchsia Flamingo…

 

One broken-down, bramble-covered, behemoth of a building called Bailmore Hall…  

 

Add in a hot-as-homemade-sin hunk of a Hound Dog with hazel eyes who makes me huff and honk and think of humping…

 

Throw them all together in the backass Swamp on the wrong side of Tallulu Parish, Louisiana, sprinkle with a dash of murder, a pinch of mystery, and a helluva lotta mayhem and you've got my life.

 

My name's Maxine Monroe. We are the Maidens of Mayhem. Bodies buried with twenty-four-hour notice and a picture ID. Alibis provided upon request.

 

For our 'extended stay' clients ~ padded rooms on the third floor and straight-jackets kept in the closet on the right.

 

We're open 24/7/365. Call 1-888-MAIDENS for your free consultation.

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UPLOAD D2D COVER - Mills J - That Pig Go

Take…

One Outstanding Owl with an Overactive Imagination…

Four fine-feathered Femme Fatales who just happen to be her most favorite and bestest friends…

A Brilliantly handsome, Bodaciously Bewitching, Bighearted, and Brave Boar Shifter…

Add in a Murder, Mayhem, and more than a little Mischief that’s ‘out-of-this-world’…

Then toss it all in a puddle smack-dab in a little piece of Heaven known as Tallula Parish, LA and you’ve got the best life this little ole Owl could’ve ever hope for.

We are the Maidens of Mayhem. Open 24/7/365 for all your Misadventure needs. Bodies buried. Alibis provided. Bail delivered. Call 1-888-MAIDENS. We’re here to help!

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Take…

One mysterious package covered in bright blue cartoon wrapping paper delivered by an Armadillo on a twenty-speed Schwinn racing by at a high rate of speed.

Add...

Forty-eight hours to save my friends, my momma, and Gram-Gram from a revenant relative returned from the grave.

A seventeen-hour road trip to get help from the Almighty Shifter Wanker with my Queen-in-her-own-mind Eagle critiquing my choice in music and my inability to carry a tune in a bucket with a lid.

One essential, crucial, and had-to-happen trip to Buck's Stop-N-Go for cheesy puffs, black licorice, and a forty-four-ounce soda.

A super sexy Mule who comes to the rescue, saves my bootay from inevitable demise, and steals my heart.

 

And…

You've got the life of Edna Easterwing, aka me. All I wanted was a quiet day with my coffee, paperwork, and the Sanity-Challenged Shifters of Bailmore Hall – Instead…

I'm Feathered, Cursed, and Mated to an Ass...Midnight Margaritas, anyone?

 

All I can say is buckle up, Buttercup, it's time to get FLOCKED 'cause that's how we roll in Tallulu Parish!

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Moving home should've been easy - but then again, this is Tallulu Parish Louisiana and we are the Maidens of Mayhem. 
 
Take...
One haunted mansion on the other side of the Swamp.
 
Add...
My Flock of feathered loved ones, plus an old, cranky Crane I adore with all my heart, the Almighty Shifter Wanker, another Pterodactyl, an Ostrich, a singing, rhyming batshit-crazy Bat Shifter, and the man of my dreams who just happens to be a T-Rex when he's not six-feet-six of sexiness.

Top if off with my archnemesis - YES! Real people can have an archnemesis. This is the twenty-first century, don'tcha know? 
 
Add.. a trip to the Other Way Round, and you've got a day in the life of me - Clementine Sue Cooper, Photojournalist, and Canary Shifter. 

I'm not sure what I expected, but one thing's for sure, my hunka-hunka- prehistoric hotness calls me Tweety and I might just kick him in tail while I scream, "Take that, Barney!"

See y'all on the flipside!

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From retired super model to princess to prisoner in forty-eight hours is a lot for anyone to handle, but I’m Monique Morninglory – Mockingbird Shifter Extraordinaire, Maiden of Mayhem, and proud godmother to the cutest set of half-Flamingo/half-Hound Dog twins who ever crapped their diapers in Tallulu Parish.

 

One stupid phone call, a not-so chance meeting with Mr. Hunka-Hunka-Legal-Llama Hotness, and trip across the Pond, and every chance of a leisurely, laidback life solving mysteries in the Swamp disappeared like the last fuchsia, rhinestone Prada clutch at the Macy’s Labor Day Sale. 

 

Holy Great Goddess in a chartreuse G-string, up is down, in is out, and my cousin is an evil beyotch! Stop the world, I wanna get off! My heel just broke, my tiara’s crooked, and somebody stole my favorite MAC lipstick.

 

Just wait till my besties from the nestie get here. We’re about to turn this castle out and party like Flock stars. Grab your feathers, folks! This is one story you just can’t miss!

XOXO, Moni

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Take one sassy relative returned from the dead…

Add in a new business venture with my brother, Tank…

Mix in a sexy Shark fresh from Scotland…

Toss in the one and only Lavender Pterodactyl Shifter extraordinaire - me, Jenn Thomas - and you’ve got the recipe for some serious Mayhem!
 

Now the Swamp stinks to high Heaven, the Shifters are still stuck, I have mosquito bites on body parts it’s not polite to scratch in public, and Tank is nowhere to be found. It’s another mystery we won’t get paid for, but that’s what it means to be one of the Maidens of Mayhem, right? Good thing we all have day jobs.


Come on down to the Drunken Dino and Party Like a Flock Star! The bartender’s cute. The Shark’s red hot. And the Mayhem’s always on tap!   

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Take one crazy Crow who knows she’s not a Raven.

 

Add the best Flock ever given wings by the Great Goddess.

 

Mix it up with an Ancient Greek Dino, a group of goofy gobsmacks who thinks he walks on water, and don't forget the Almighty Shifter Wanker – and you’ve got one heckuva mystery only the Maidens of Mayhem can solve.

 

Will the girls find the ‘jewel' in time? Or will Tallulu Parish get sucked into Hell where its inhabitants will be forced to scoop Hellcat litter boxes for the rest of eternity?

 

Well, nobody knows but it’s bound to be better than a ride on Uncle Horace’s airboat during a hurricane.

 

Feathers gonna fly and scales gonna shimmy, ‘cause That Dino’s Hangin’ Ten and the Crow’s right behind him!

The ONE that started this WHOLE AMAZING SERIES!
FREE!
Click the cover and ZOOM you're there!

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